Getting back to normal…. in more ways than one.
This past week I have been all over the place, to say the least. The tragedy that happened at the Marathon left me feeling pretty uneasy and emotional (And if you don’t know me personally, I’m already a pretty emotional human being to begin with) and so I spent a lot of the week working through what I was feeling. I guess part of me originally thought that life would just continue on as as normal- but my week was anything but.
Needless to say- the last thing on my mind was training, weight loss, or my usual routine. So I did what felt right at the moment.
I ran simply to run- without any goals in mind. I swam- but spent most of the time slowly doggie paddling and going over the events of Monday with a friend who was also there that day. Some days I had no appetite and skipped meals, and some days all I wanted was comfort food. (For all you MFP friends- Panera Bread’s Mac & Cheese? 980 calories of absolute comfort. I don’t even regret it happening.) I shopped (because yes, material things make me feel better), and purchased an ADIDAS Boston Tribute Tee and a “United We Run” Sweaty Band (Which by the way, 100% of the proceeds from these items go to the OneFund so feel free to partake in a little “retail therapy” yourself!). I also finally gave in and purchased a RoadID. After being harassed about it for several months I finally realized that as safe as I think I am- there are events that are out of my control and I don’t want to end up as one of those “if only” situations. So mom and fiancee- you’re officially responsible for me 🙂
Waiting for me at the end of this roller coaster week was the wedding of one of my best friends- an event that I had already been looking forward to, but even more so now. Getting away with some of the most important people in my life to celebrate such a joyous occasion was exactly what I needed. For two days I didn’t think about working out, worry about what I was eating, or think about what I had experienced earlier in the week. I simply enjoyed the time with my friends, being in a beautiful coastal city, and dancing my heart out. Want to know what made the weekend even better? For the first time (for as long as I can remember) I felt completely confident and happy with how I looked. The smile on the outside was a pure reflection of how I was feeling on the inside. For so long so much time and energy has gone into worrying about people noticing how much weight I had gained, wondering how big my ass looks, or being miserable in a pair of Spanx to hold everything in. And finally this weekend it all finally rang true… those past worries had completely vanished. The effects of all the hard work that I have put in day after day for the past year of my life are suddenly very real. And it feels great. Fantastic. Out of the world. Liberating. Goodbye self-consciousness, hello confidence! 🙂
I came back from our trip feeling refreshed and ready to get back into the swing of things. I spent an hour at the grocery store restocking our fridge so that I could get back to my normal foods, threw in an extra run, and I worked really hard at the pool. I’m back in action- and ready to give it my everything again. Because in case you haven’t heard, I’ve got a triathlon to conquer….in just THREE MONTHS!
Posted on April 24, 2013, in Uncategorized and tagged body image, boston marathon, my fitness pal, running, self confidence, sweaty bands, swimming, tragedy, triathlon, weight loss. Bookmark the permalink. 5 Comments.