I knew that coming off of my running break I was going to want to jump into a new goal as soon as possible. I mean the best way to get over someone is to get under someone…. never mind. That rule doesn’t apply here. Anyways- at some point this winter I had decided on the Providence Half Marathon in May as my next goal. Obviously when shit hit the fan and I needed to recharge my running batteries that wasn’t going to work anymore. But don’t worry, I quickly found a replacement.
half ass bad ass is officially registered for the Runner’s World Heartbreak Hill Half Marathon on June 8th! I’m happy with this decision because:
1) It’s a brand spankin’ new race… which is fun.
2) It’s put on by Runner’s World (which automatically ups the “cool factor”).
3) It’s part of a weekend long festival celebrating all that is awesome about running.
4) Finishing gives me another sweet medal to add to my wall of pride.
5) This will be not only my second half marathon, but my second half marathon in Newton (ironically)…. which means I get to celebrate with pancakes and a peanut butter shake at the most amazing breakfast joint in the world!
Providence for some reason just never felt like my race. I couldn’t picture myself running it and now I know why. But this… this has my name all over it. This race feels like mine. I quickly typed in my information, signed my waiver, and hit submit with a little more “ooomf” in my fingers. There was minimal hesitation and instead of the instant gut check associated with registering for big things I felt a sense of dare I say… excitement? I can’t quite put my finger on it but things feel different somehow.
Maybe this is what happens when you take a break. Maybe this is just my brain talking because my legs haven’t seen more than 3 miles in the last 6 weeks. Or maybe it’s these runners I’ve been hanging around recently. (You know who you are). While I was busy giving my legs a rest I paid attention to how they train, how they race, and most importantly… their attitude towards running. Why put in all this effort in training if you’re not going to be excited for the big day? Why spend all this money on a race that you’re not going to put your heart into? I train in fear and I race in fear. From the minute I sign up for a race I start doubting myself. I can’t run races in fear anymore. And while I know this half will be challenging and hard, and that sometimes training for it will suck majorly – at the end of the day I want to be proud of the work I put in and proud of getting myself to the finish line. Maybe… JUST MAYBE… I’m starting to get it. My apologies to those of you who have been repeating this to me until you’re red in the face (Again, you know who you are).
So 13.1… I’m ready for a rematch. I’m ready to work hard, and listen to those who know best. I realize now that heroes aren’t made on tempo runs when they haven’t eaten breakfast. I realize that the only way I’m going to make it to the finish line is if I start believing in myself. I promise more stretching and less crying. Here’s to training hard and racing happy. Here’s to a fresh start… and a brand spanking new start line. Let’s do this.